Sara Dimerman: The Benefits of Exploratory Behaviour

Photo by Mymoon Humayun on Unsplash

CBC Information Radio-MB recently presented a conversation with psychologist Sara Dimerman about why a little freedom and uncertainty is necessary for development and how ‘bubble wrapping’ deprives children of chances to learn and grow.

The webcast begins with Dr Mariana Brussoni, Director of the Human Early Learning Partnership (HELP) and professor in the Department of Pediatrics and the School of Population and Public Health at UBC talking about her research interviews with adults. Looking back at favourite childhood memories they will often recall activities that involved physical risk, such as swinging from ropes, climbing trees, etc, and unsupervised time with friends negotiating how to spend time and choosing in what activities to engage.

Marcy Markusa uses this as a starting point for a conversation with psychologist Sara Dimerman on the importance for children of learning how to engage with risk. Dimerman, a clinical psychologist with an Ontario-based counselling practice for over 30 years, is author of four parenting and relationship books, and has used learning from her bachelor’s degree in Radio and Television to help her build an international web and media-based advice identity as HelpMeSara. www.helpmesara.com

Dimerman prefers the term “exploratory behaviour” rather than “risk”. The pandemic and social media have increased levels of fear for both parents and children, and there seem to be an increasing number of children who rarely go outdoors to play. Parents’ words, as well as their actions, influence their children. Exaggerated fears can be transferred, and habits of hyper-vigilance built up over the past few years can be challenging to let go. This is likely to be an even greater challenge for children who were at key pivotal development stages at the onset of the pandemic.

Dimerman refers back to research by Brussoni and others showing that children who are over-protected from risk lack the experiential skills they need to be able to figure the world out for themselves. They have higher likelihood of not developing self-confidence, resilience, the ability to problem-solve independently. They are also less likely to have a realistic understanding of their abilities and limitations, or to feel a connection to the natural world in which they live. The opportunity to explore in nature, even to get a little bit lost, exposing children to controlled opportunities to test themselves, such as riding a bicycle, help build life and resiliency skills for adulthood. The parents’ own childhood experiences often determine their ability to allow their children scope to engage with risky play.

Dimerman concludes with the message of offering children the opportunity for rough-and-tumble play, along with the “17-second rule” advocated by Brussoni of holding back to give children the opportunity to test their own limits and resolve issues in interactive play before stepping in to intervene.