Having Conversations with Children About Humanitarian Crises
Photo by Juliane Liebermann
Greater Good online magazine offers valuable supports for parents to help prepare themselves for difficult conversations with children about humanitarian crises.
An October 13, 2023, posting by Maryam Abdullah, for Greater Good online magazine, interviewed Abigail Gewirtz, professor of psychology at Arizona State University, and Shauna Tominey, professor of human development and family sciences at Oregon State University, for advice on how to approach talking with children about humanitarian crises.
Based on their work, “How to Talk With Kids About Scary News” and “Five Tips for Talking With Kids About What’s Going On in the World” they offer six recommendations.
For many families, ongoing humanitarian crises may well not just be international news, but may directly impact them and their immediate families. The article notes, “parents everywhere struggle to understand what’s happening and how to feel about it, and to talk with our kids about the images as well as the absence of humanity and compassion they see in the news and on social media.”
1. Tend to your own needs. Like the well-known principle of airline flight emergencies, you need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others. If a crisis impacts you and your extended family directly, it is necessary to acknowledge one’s own feelings of heartbreak and fear and reach out to friends and loved ones for support first, in order to be able to speak wisely and calmly to settle your child’s anxiety.
2. Seek to understand more deeply and listen. “Taking time to go beyond the headlines and learn more can build our knowledge and understanding of a topic so that we can feel comfortable talking with children in a way that is developmentally appropriate, as well as clearing up misconceptions,” says Tominey. The article stresses the importance of listening carefully to what children’s thoughts and questions are actually saying about the nature of their understanding and anxieties, staying curious within the interaction.
3. Be humble and honest. The article notes, “Look for news sources that go beyond your bubble and that represent holistic perspectives. Teach your children how to be critical consumers of news and to seek out different viewpoints that represent an assortment of voices. Show them how to be aware of misinformation, which has been rampant on social media.”
4. Prioritize humanity. Tominey states, “Your children will have friends, classmates, and community members now and in the future with diverse identities and from diverse backgrounds.” In the conversations we have with our children, “we can help teach children that the identities and cultural traditions each person carries are just as important to them as yours are to you.” The article notes, “Help children understand that all people have inherent worth so that they come to see themselves and others as global citizens–all of whom strive to live in dignity.”
5. Help your children to take compassionate action. Like us, Gewirtz comments, “children need to feel that there is something they can do. All of us feel more awful if we feel totally helpless – and our children are no exception.” A practical suggestion the article makes is to donate to humanitarian organizations that are helping to provide aid in the crisis.
6. Be a haven for children to navigate their emotions. Children can express their feelings through stories, artwork, play, and physical exercise.
The article ends by noting that compassion is as much a reality of our world as violence and trauma. “Trauma tries to convince us that compassion, community, and humanity aren’t possible,” writes psychiatrist Paul Conti in his book, Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic. As parents, we can show our children not only how to imagine these possibilities but to also act to make them achievable.
For additional resources, see “Nine Tips for Talking With Kids About Trauma.”